Held

Last year, I had the opportunity to attend the Vital Voices Global Leadership awards which celebrated the efforts of remarkable women around the world. In as much as it was great to see their wonderful work, what was clear to me was the injustice suffered by women. I would have liked to capture something along those lines but I was out of my depth so a much lighter piece is what I wrote. Here goes...

HELD

Few Friday nights are fated for fulfillment if one finds it starting off in a grocery store aisle,

And yet here I am in the import wine aisle, indecisive so I have been here for a while,

And what do I find but an ephemeral being embodying everything feminine in a figure hugging dress,

A dress that only states, I am not meant to stay in tonight and I can’t help but impress,

Her body is throwing curves and my wheels are skidding into an imminent head on collision,

The kind that doesn’t hurt, or does only if you want it to,

She turns around and her confused face is the most beautiful thing beheld in this solar system.

Her gaze pierces deep like a zulu warrior’s spear,

and amidst all the wonder of her unparalleled looks there is a twinge of sadness and fear

but with the sublimity of it all, the oddities seem to disappear.

Her raspy voice exuding sensuality, encompassing every trace of sexy, is asking where to find a bottle of bodegas….

Her voice trailing off, or me lost in the fantasy I just created with her

Snapped back to reality, attraction unseats me but experience guides me,

“I am guessing in the Spanish section, in case you were wondering I prefer French but what’s two romance languages between two people so enamored by each other”

She laughs and calls me corny and I remind her she is still smiling,

she calls me cute and I call her stunning

she asks if I pick up girls in the store often, I told her twice already this evening,

she says I am good at this, and I let her know she is doing the inspiring,

banter back and forth becomes an invitation and an acquiescence

in her need for disclosure, she tells me guys make her feel uncomfortable

but with me, she is overwhelmed with a willingness to be vulnerable,

and though a lot of people say so, she never does this,

my smile is mocking but she knows I am listening,

back at my place lusting stares make it clear conversation is needless,

and yet my need for self-expression, amounts to “I can’t take my eyes of you”,

she looks uneasy, I look inquiring and she responds,

“my uncle used to say that”

without explanation I know her meaning,

I am not her uncle as I reassure her,

I am inexplicably taken by her beauty and I am only expressing the feeling,

now we are kissing,

wrapped in each other arms and I reach round her neck and she twinges,

my boyfriend use to grab me there,

I gently caress her neck and whisper, I only handle with care

As I hold her tender, she holds me tight and the is nothing but passion here,

Like a loyal subject, you are my queen and serving you is what I am about,

as those words sink in, a tear falls out,

i wipe it away , “is it something I said”

“It’s never been about me and but what men can get from me,

After the lying, the cheating, the hurting, my heart is still breaking,

I have given all of me and sometimes I feel empty”,

it explained what I thought I saw before,  the sadness and fear in her eyes,

I would have given everything to go back in time to make it right, or at least try,

The look on her face seemed to ask if she should leave though all she wanted was to stay,

I wanted her with me and she wanted to be held,

In unspoken unprompted sync, intentions of raunchy passion evolved into her being held by me,

I held her, not for the moment, but for the night

I was privileged to be privy to her vulnerability,

And more than she cherished my comfort, I cherished the opportunity to provide it

And so through the break of day, I held her close,

I held her tight.

I held her.